Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Two hands better than one?

(This was after the 1st shoulder surgery, I ended up having messed it up so badly I had to have two more.....which accounts of such will follow sometime.....)

A Dollar’s Worth
By Alisa Dollar

Has anyone had to use a hand not accustomed to using? I’m right handed, and even though I can use my left hand quite well, I was recently challenged to be a southpaw.

My knee was replaced on December 1st and I had to use a walker even though I could walk after four days. For once while trying to follow rules this big door tried to attack me and I fell.

In order to protect my new knee, I let go of the trapped walker and fell with all my glorious body on my right elbow which exploded and husband took me to have stitches. It was not appropriate the doctor laughed.

I’d hurt my shoulder but refused to pay attention to it until the knee was well. When I finally went in, it seems I’d cleaned the rotary cuff which would require surgery.

I had that done (trust me, knee replacement is a piece of cake compared to this!). For six long weeks I wore a body-type sling allowing my shoulder to not move. The surgeon found more damage than expected and without telling me I was old, he told me I was old and needed to be very careful so that I could have 65% recovery rather than the original 95%.

Sounds easy if you aren’t claustrophobic. I did well during the day, but at night “it” would taunt me with chants only I could hear. Something like “I’ve got you, you can’t move, nana-nana-boo-boo”–it could have been the drugs, but I don’t think so.

My hair was a mess with impossible left hand drying.  I never dreamed how hard it was to put on mascara with “the other” hand!

The first day back at work I was so pitiful. I looked like I’d washed up on some shore in dry West Texas with no comb and smudged eyes.

I wanted badly to say I went skiing instead of falling off a walker.

I figured out a way to cheat without moving my shoulder and use the computer.

At the end of the six weeks, my hair looked better and the mascara was almost perfect.

Now I’m in physical therapy which is another story. The PT person is so young I felt I needed to burp her before she tortured me.

The moral of this story–walker lessons should be given before being let loose.

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