Friday, September 16, 2011

Kathryn's Calamaties - and me.....

A Dollar’s Worth
By Alisa Dollar

I have memories I can’t shake. The latest is Kathryn’s dad. I remember mother better because of her laughter.

Daddy was a quiet man who rarely spoke. He observed every move, every sound and when he stood up that meant something was going to happen.

It may have been to go get coffee, but I never knew if we were too loud or he heard sneaking in and out. Not that we ever did that.

When Kathryn came to college (indeed a book I should write) we took turns commuting. I was a junior and she was a freshman. I can’t imagine what would’ve happened had she gone right after we graduated. We were quite the pair at an age we should’ve been old enough to know better.

While in her car, make that her father’s car, we had a tiny mishap. It really wasn’t Kathryn’s fault, that car was huge.

We’d been invited to a friend’s house outside San Marcos, up a very skinny and wooded road. We were going there to study. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Half way up, Kathryn stopped.

“Why are we stopped? We’ll go backwards!” I exclaimed because that’s what I’d done in my brother’s VW Beetle right in front of the SUB on campus and it was very embarrassing to say the least.

“We’re stuck.”

“We can’t be stuck this is your daddy’s car.” I had visions of him getting out of that chair walking towards us. I never finished what I thought he’d do.

Nobody could’ve done this but Kathryn and her trusty sidekick.

We finally made it to the house. There were little scratches; but remember he observed. We were so upset we couldn’t “study.”

Kathryn, already an aspiring artist, tried shoe polish; I threw dirt to make it look smudged.

Later, I went to her house because I couldn’t let her take all the blame. I walked in and waited for her to come to the living room.

He was observing. Mom was laughing. I fidgeted.

“It was an accident.” It just popped out.

Kathryn walked unhurriedly saying I couldn’t control myself.

I hushed.

I realized that Kathryn, though usually animated, could purse those lips just so and give a look that meant she might “get up out of the chair”.

Moral? If you see that look, hush.

Don’t let her stand up.

I hate talking maps!

A Dollar’s Worth
By Alisa Dollar

Prof’s mom has become a good long distance friend. They live in Houston and when she gets to Lubbock we try to enjoy a cup of coffee or double dips of ice cream, whichever mood we’re in. Usually the latter.

At Christmas, she told me she never gets lost anymore. I couldn’t believe it because she’d always told me she got lost in Sears. That totally endeared me to her. I would get lost in Sears too if I didn’t get lost on my way to Sears.

“What do you mean you don’t get lost anymore?” I asked between bites of homemade chocolate pecan pie Prof’s dad made.

“I got a GPS.”

I groaned. I don’t like husband’s GPS. She has totally taken over our road trips. Maggie died and now he has Young Maggie. They’ve been the other “women” in my life. The saving grace is neither could speak.

I decided since Momma Prof had one, I should have one. I didn’t tell husband I ordered one and was hoping it wasn’t as boring as his.

As luck would have it, it was a smaller, handheld cute little thing with a car in the picture. I know this sounds perfectly ridiculous to those not geographically challenged, but that blue car on the road is amazing.

The unfortunate part is that it talks and has an annoying attitude. I showed husband my prize and we took it to Plainview to meet friends for an annual New Year’s Eve dinner. We are a really wild bunch.

Husband thought she was bossy and often wrong (only because he knows every back road in Texas and Bossy doesn’t). However, Bossy fooled him because she’d tell him the next exit and the next until he finally had to. It was really amusing to watch husband and Bossy try to outsmart the other.

I asked if I could change the car color to red and husband asked why. I like red that’s why, but I didn’t say anything. Then I asked if the voice could be like Johnny Depp instead of a haughty naggy voice. That he may have gone for, but so far it’s still Bossy’s voice.

As you’ve guessed, Bossy is now in residence with Young Maggie. He says he is seeing which is better but finds he like qualities in each that the other doesn’t have.

I’m just happy he can only have one wife or I’d probably be discontinued.