Wednesday, February 9, 2011

This is the one I called The Damn Bird.....her real name was Cookie......

A Dollar’s Worth
By Alisa Dollar

Over the years, we’ve had various parakeets. Husband doesn’t like cats and parakeets pacified children in lieu of.  Daughter named one Cookie.  Cookie came from the local parakeet store with a well-trimmed cage.

Cookie had severe nesting problems.

Usually a happy little bird, she chirped through the day until her cage was darkened by the night-night cover. Then she became aggravated and started to build little nests out of paper cage lining. Trimming turned into fluttering shambles

Then, out of nowhere, she laid an egg!

I called the pet shop complaining I didn’t appreciate buying a pregnant bird to which they replied female birds, chickens, what-have-you, can lay unfertilized eggs.


I wanted to ask if all these species were so possessive of ‘non-eggs’. I decided that would be a question for husband. 

In the meantime we had to put up with an extremely irritable bird. On some level I could understand and feel her pain. I’d have been angry if I’d had a fake kid.

It didn’t take long to get over the sympathy after she pecked my hand while trying to retrieve spawned matter. We were both screeching. I decided to allow Cookie to sit there and just be disappointed when nothing happened. Or till husband came home. Hopefully he’d know what to do.

As long as we left her un-baby alone, Cookie was a happy camper.

Son came in from school and asked what happened to Cookie’s little household–it was a mess. How could I explain something to a ten year old I didn’t understand myself?

Cookie made a mockery of the birds and bees story.

I did what any good mother would. I sat down with him and told dad would explain later.

It was a mistake to not tell son. Daughter and I heard son yelp and Cookie ‘bird cursing’ all afrenzy.

By the time we got there, son was holding the egg to the light asking if Cookie knew she was having a fit over nothing.

My first thought was I should’ve had son tell me what happened when I noticed how content and quiet Cookie had become. If birds could sigh, I’d swear that’s what she was doing.

I asked son what happened.

Simple, he’d wanted to look at the egg so he replaced it with peanut M&Ms.

Cookie spawned three “eggs” and had a colorful behind.

She was happy.

And quiet.

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