A weekly newspaper article "A Dollar's Worth" written for the Frankston Citizen News posted after the fact; plus various and sundry thoughts on anything from writing to whatever crosses my mind and I'm brave enough to print. Welcome!!
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Zombies, Hell, Democrats, Republicans and The People :-)
I wrote this a while back for an online class I was taking. We were told to write something either sci-fi, futuristic or weird. So I did weird. I love following politics and this includes many representations of things happening (clunkers, climate change, guns, right wing, etc.) and when push came to shove, the children save us. What's funny is that when I found this I was surprised at all the things we are actually REALLY fighting about now! Anyway, here it is for whatever it's worth and just know I have a crazy imagination - Abomination = Prez; Allegory = Algore; Em Paled = Sarah Palen or the groups they each represent--- alisa (p.s. the spacing turned out weird)
By Alisa Dollar
Then it melted.
“What th’ hell?”
“Nice choice of words there
Abomination.” Allegory addressed the idiocy of a statement made in Hell.
“Well look. We’re able to
move and I’m freezing!” Abomination reached instinctively to hug himself as he
was prone to do above the earth.
“Don’t rub it in,” Allegory
replied sharply. “How was I to know those emails would leak?”
“Yeah all that time we had
the media on the right side.” Abomination snorted cold air.
“You mis-spoke. They were on
the left side until that Em Paled woman came along.” Shaking his head in
disgust he spewed “Who would’ve thought a moose shooting woman could carry so
much damage to our cause? We really underestimated her and that gang of
Em Paled couldn’t believe
zombies had risen when Hell melted. The only thing she hoped were the
instigators of all this weather change, oh excuse me, she mentally reminded
herself to “climate change.”
She looked over what was left
of Mother Earth and realized that the saying “Hell hath no fury like a woman
scorned” was true. Mother Earth was here to stay, but oh what she’d been
through to survive.
Em Paled had few resources
left in which to fight. She had her own agenda. The complete opposite of what
was left behind. It had been oh-so-easy. Turning heads her way, because of
their desperate plight had been a snap. Work and earn. Earn and save. Earn and
It’d been easy as pie. Who
cared she hoarded most of the pie? How could anyone know when destitution was
being replaced by what everyone wanted? Money. Homes. Security.
Allegory, Abomination, and
their likes had bailed themselves right before the big crash. Unfortunately for
the main two, they’d taken their cash and in their wild furor to escape to safer
grounds, had stolen a clunker. Poor guys. It never made it out of D.C.
If she had the grace, she’d
thank them for leaving her the perfect opportunity to attack the vulnerable.
And that she did.
Em Paled had let it be known
a number of zombies had been freed from Hell and there was no way of knowing
how many or who they might be.
Media wasn’t like it used to
be; even a lie couldn’t be spread except by word of mouth. There was good and
bad in the destruction of class struggle.
Em Paled knew that. In order
to bring forth class collaboration, she’d exerted much effort into reorganizing
She was the queen bee,
surrounded by chosen royalty. They were chosen by her, so as not to be
disrupted by a few distraught constituents. Voting was out. Again, thanks to
the endeavors lay down by Abomination, Allegory, and their like.
Em Paled ejected a cynical
“An easy playground they
left, for sure.” she muttered to herself as she went to find self-picked
legions to instruct the working class collaborators.
Abomination grudgingly trod
through deep cavities of stench and wondered again how he’d stayed in such a
nasty hole. He’d had the best. He’d climbed a ladder to get there from the
lowest of lowest. Sure he’d had help. The communities he’d organized to boost
when needed had paid him well. His mentors were proficient. All was going well.
That is, until that wicked
witch from the West.
“What’s going on?” Allegory
was actually smiling.
“Get that smirk off your
“Gotta' make the best of the
worst. That’s how we got where we are.” Allegory patted himself once more on
the back as satisfaction oozed and mixed with his torn and rugged flesh. “I’m
hungry. I’ve not known hunger of this magnitude for a while.”
“Look!” Allegory pointed
toward a playground of children running about. “Mmmmmmmm. Let’s go eat.”
They feasted on the small
flesh and bones of innocents.
They had no rationality.
They never had.
They never would.
They’d fleshed society once
by grabbing their will and means. .
Society flushed them.
Sent them to Hell.
Evil begets evil.
This time they’d flesh
Allegory and Abomination
feasted on the limbs and flesh of the young.
Laughing they trampled along
in jerky movements.
The name of their game.
Elizabeth heard the ravaging
sounds and cried out in fear and disgust as two bloody monster-like creatures
slobbered over severed bones with bits and pieces of flesh hanging from
As long as she lived she’d
never forget the sounds of children screaming for help, then pain and lastly
the moaning before the silence of little voices overshadowed by slurping noises
of extreme satisfaction.
She knew there was no help
for those taken in violence.
Elizabeth called 666 asking
for help. The news was already out zombies were about. There was no word on how
many or where. Just that they came from Hell.
They had to come from Hell.
No one else could do what they’d done.
Before gathering the children
left, she picked up her personal phone and dialed a quick 911. It was the old
way for help and though they’d been told to use the new number the old one was
for those like her.
Women in White had been
formed almost as soon as Allegory and Abomination had been summoned to Hell.
They represented purity of a new beginning.
Em Paled, who at first seemed
to want what the people wanted, only to find she too demanded the same type control,
but under the guise of “we” the people.
She was the people. Or so she
The difference being money
was flowing but there was still a definite caste system. This time around,
rather than everyone being the same, the difference lay in where the line was
drawn between high and higher; she was higher.
Most fell on the high side.
The trick was to make the mass believe they were better off than before.
Women in White were
underground and with the help of all the technology to date had set aside
enough cell phones and codes in which to operate covertly.
When suspicion was cast upon
Abomination and Allegory by Em Paled and her like, the dumbed down masses had
turned to her in desperation.
As duly noted, desperation
destroys one’s will.
Or the other.
Abomination rubbed his
stomach and watch Allegory wipe his mouth and lick his fingers one by one. He
admitted Allegory had a much better upbringing but urged him to hurry.
“I smell Em Paled.” he said
loudly. “I want her.”
“Yeah, she was hot, right?”
“That’s not why. She
destroyed my kingdom. She must pay. We’ll have her for dinner and anyone else
in sight around her.” Abomination flatly stated.
“Dinner it is.” Allegory
agreed as they traveled toward the smell. Abomination always had the nose for
business. He knew his own game was bullish. He could draw in money and sludge.
Abomination was the crowd pleaser.
Em Paled viewed her domain
from the right wing of her palatial home. She’d heard who’d escaped Hell and
though she shuddered to think of having to deal with them again, she knew she’d
She was a sure shot with a
gun and a bow and arrow.
Em Paled had what it took to
get the job done.
She smiled and lingered over
her newly drawn plans for those in high. She was ready to draw them into battle
under the impression they’d fight for “rights”–always a catchy phrase to the
population of what was left of America.
America the Unbeautiful. Some
things do change.
Anthony, upon hearing from Elizabeth,
rounded up as many of the Men in Red to gather hidden guns and weapons. He’d
heard what had happened and hoped his child was safe.
Men in Red formed at the same
time as the women’s group. They represented the bloodshed for lost freedom. And
the blood that had yet to be shed for freedom gained.
Abomination had restricted
guns and any weapon except for his kind. Anthony and others had begun to stash
when the realization hit they’d better or be without a way in which to protect their
The Second Amendment had been
eradicated along with the First.
Em Paled had assured the
people to restore both, but in fact, she and her immediate followers were the
only armed people in the mix. Her promises fell just as flat and just as
insincere as the last leader. Though she guaranteed assistance if or when
needed, the hollow air around her mouth as she issued the promise became yet
another lie of power’s breath.
The loud roar of discrepant
laughter haunted Elizabeth as she herded the children ahead of her to safer grounds.
They weren’t that far ahead of the zombies. Instinctively, she was happy hers
and Anthony’s child had been saved. She grieved for those that weren’t. All
ages had been demolished by poverty, violence relating to envy, or just death
by distraction from life. They simply gave up and gave in.
There were but few who had
the will and determination to take back what started in the beginning when the
Pilgrims took to the land.
Replenish. Restore. Regain.
Land. Liberty. Love.
She’d never known what life could
be, only what was. They’d all heard of the good times when people shared and
did the right thing. Envy and power were not admirable in leaders. Elections
were held to select and deselect. Choices were the mode of operation.
Elizabeth had never had choices.Then the Women in White and Men in Red formed.
It was only then everyone was given a choice.
It was a beautiful feeling.
Allegory grabbed palatial
guards right and left and munched upon flesh and blood to garner entrance to Em
Abomination hadn’t been
wrong. He could smell the worthiest of rats.
Abomination came at that time
and snapped the head of a patrolman screaming for mercy as Allegory teasingly
nibbled on his bloody and broken leg.
Allegory stood his ground and
pointed a blood dripping accusatory finger toward his fellow zombie and in a
snide kid-like voice taunted, “Why? You’re chewing with your mouth open and
chomping, why shouldn’t I?
Abomination spit toothpick
sized bones to the side and snarled, “Listen up, I meant keep the prey quiet.
Suck the heads off first, you idiot. You’re torturing them otherwise.”
“Well we wouldn’t want to
torture, now would we?” Allegory couldn’t seem to baiting Abomination. It just
felt too good to be free. Hell had been torture. No water for the boarders.
“You’ve got veins in your teeth, by the way.”
Abomination picked the slime
from his teeth and jerked his way toward the Paled Palace. He couldn’t wait.
Grabbing every person in sight he devoured and sopped brains first following
his own advice. He saved the hearts to the last. Dessert. His Mecca. His strength.
Allegory did the same.
Together they demolished and
savored. Most were mired in trenches made by melted ice. The heat was
definitely rising to proportions beyond Allegory’s expectation.
He couldn’t help but be a bit
miffed it happened now.
Em Paled watched as warrior
after warrior of the higher order was ravished by the two disfigured and
disgusting animalistic beings. She knew who they were.
Abomination and Allegory.
They had on the same clothes as the day they were doomed to everlasting Hell. Now
ill fit as their growth had been stunted during their stint on earth. Hell must
have been better feeding.
Blood and flesh dripped from
their hideous mouths. The disfigured, colossal bodies lumbered toward her
Not one to flummox, she
flexed. Rather than admit defeat, she’d trounce them back to Hell. She’d come
It’s time to call the high to
defend her, for their honor of course.
She dialed 666.
Elizabeth and Anthony were
surrounded by white and red when the 666 call came in as expected. Everyone
knew Em Paled was a huntress, but her distress was also their distress as she
no longer killed but designated the duty.
The time was ripe for white
and red to take back what had been stolen.
The time for revolution was
They expertly organized to
ready themselves for Allegory and Abomination. And Em Paled.
Leaving children with Nana’s
and Papa’s the white went left because they knew Em Paled would be acceptable
to white. Red went left in order to enamor the zombies.
Yes. All the years of
planning had come to roost upon ordinary shoulders to recapture the lost years.
To regain rights.
The time was ripe.
And they were ready.
Allegory jolted and jerked
through the front. Abomination had a habit of entering through the back.
Together they’d plotted the perfect demise of Em Paled.
Their plan was to enter from
both sides of the entrance to the center of the palace. Em Paled couldn’t
champion one over the other and though slow, they were sure.
And they were hungry for
super, sweet and sappy flesh moose of a woman. She’d outsmarted them once, but
it wouldn’t happen twice. They were on to her.
Em Paled waited with shotgun
on her desk and bow and arrow in hand. Zombies had to be de-brained or severed
at the neck. That’s all she knew and as she gazed at all the trophies of heads
of deer, moose, and elk, she didn’t think a zombie would be that hard to hit.
She was that good and that confident.
She’d done it before.
She’d do it again.
The Women in White and Men in
Red were encircling the palace and signaled the others to stop and watch.
Half devoured flesh eaten
bodies were strewn about irrelevantly and with much disregard. The stench was
revolting. Eyeballs floated in the little bloody mud puddles forming in droves.
They recognized clothing from
loved ones but couldn’t stop their mission in order to grieve. Sorrow was a luxury of the
past. Time forbade an extravagance such as grief or even love and laughter.
They had to hold strong and
They wanted it back.
Allegory disappeared into the
front. White flag waved to red as they had Allegory duty. When Abomination
entered the back, red flags waved back.
Slowly the white and the red
entered the courtyard and surrounded the palace. Half stayed and half entered.
Their day of reckoning had
“What brings you guys back?
You weren’t denigrated enough the first time? I have the same citizenry who
dumped you, helping me. You don’t have a chance in hell.”
“Hell is not for the faint of
heart, my dear.” Allegory soothed. He always thought she was hot even when hot
under the collar.
“It’s a wonder you’ve lasted
this long, then.” Em Paled laughed at her own joke. “You are still a joke with
all that warming and climate change.”
“Couldn’t resist that one?”
Allegory lunged as Abomination entered on the other side of the room.
Em Paled backed to her desk
and speed dialed 666 with a special hit to the star key signaling extreme
distress. She’d play with these guys till her minions arrived.
Abomination snuck behind her
and grunted his presence. Unafraid, Em Paled backed further into her desk till
she was seated throne-like in front of them.
She reached for her shotgun;
sure her warriors would soon arrive. There’s nothing like a bunch of irate
masses of people.
Abomination and Allegory were
dead even in front of her. Em Paled felt the heat. She wondered if Hell was
really that hot or if her bought especially for her dress and heels were infringing
on her body temp.
Together the zombies reached.
Em Paled held up her shotgun.
Abomination gasped. “That’s
“I know.” Em Paled laughed as
she shot once, then again.
“Tummy tucks don’t work on
us.” They grabbed before she could reload.
Em Paled did what was least
White and Red entered to see
Em Paled fought over by two zombies. She screamed and begged and put a eft and
only hand to her people. Before another word could be spoken, Abomination
sucked her brain and chewed heartily.
Allegory devoured the rest
and both never let their eyes stray from the intruders.
“What have we here?”
Abomination hadn’t forgotten his rhetoric. “Can we talk?”
“NO!” Allegory grunted loudly
and started in an unsteady jerk toward the white. He always was a ladies’ man.
Abomination shrugged and
jumped as quickly as he could toward the men. They could overpower mere
Hands were poised to snap up
as many as possible because they were gluttons; they both noticed there were no
Abomination was happy
somebody followed the laws he’d made.
Out of nowhere a little boy
and a little girl appeared.
Abomination and Allegory
stopped cold. They looked at each other, then at the humans, then the two
They clutched their stomachs
Piece of cake.
The boy and the girl drew
slingshots from behind their backs.
A woman in white gave the
little girl a rock.
A man in red gave the little
boy his rock.
The girl looked to the boy
and he looked back.
They turned to two stunned
With perfect precision they
Allegory and Abomination
lurched towards them.
It was the last step to
mankind they made.
Expertly the boy and the girl
shot their rocks off and each entered the head directly to the brain.
Allegory and Abomination
moaned and wobbled outside and cried for mercy.
There was no mercy.
The earth opened where
trenches were dug by the remaining Women in White and Men in Red.
Hell took them in.
The palace was now sparkly
white. A flag that had been saved from the good old days was flying high and
strongly over the lands.
White and Red; Purity and
Blood worked together to rebuild what was once common sense.
At the hands of children came
forth a new world to be governed by the people and for the people.
Ever so often when the earth
would quake, the newly formed country knew it was Allegory, Abomination and Em Paled.