A Dollar’s Worth
By Alisa Dollar
Prof told me I had the makings of a good country song when I was telling her about driving husband’s pickup while he was driving me nuts. Before I finished the tale, she was laughing.
I decided to write an article instead.
Disclaimer to men who can’t laugh at themselves….stop reading here; women, you’ll be nodding furiously in agreement.
It started when husband had his eyes checked. I had a dental appointment to have my teeth cleaned. The two offices are within a mile of the other across town. Husband decided I’d drive after his appointment because his eyes would be dilated. Unlike some, it takes quite awhile for him to look normal, not like a wild person.
Everything went well until I had to drive. He is very protective of his pickup and more so when I am driving said pickup.
Remember, he can’t see.
I will admit upfront I feel as though I’m driving a bus which in and of itself is bad enough; but to have a front seat passenger side wild-eyed helper makes for a very irritating afternoon.
That’s the good part.
The bad part is that Mr. Wild-Eye Know-it-All Can’t See Husband decides I don’t know which lane to get into in order to turn. Then, I must not know this pickup is different to park than my 4-door Taurus. What? Like I don’t know I’m driving a tank?
And the last and most indefensible thing he said to me “What if you had to parallel park, what would happen? Huh?”
As calmly as I could I replied that was a mute point as there were no parallel parking spaces available and that most likely I would ram whatever was in front and back of me like I did all those years ago when I took my driving test.
“I’ll bet you didn’t pass either!” he grumped while still telling me that I needed to back up and retry because I was too close to the car next to us.
I refused to tell him I had to retake the test.
As much as I don’t like to go to the dentist, I was happy to get in that office and catch my breath.
Maybe I will write a song--I was driving my husband’s pickup while was driving me nuts.
It really does have a ring to it.