Thursday, January 20, 2011

Valentine's around the corner......

This was last year's....but it'll work for any year.....

A Dollar’s Worth
By Alisa Dollar

Alert! Valentine’s Day is fast approaching!

I’m working on a manuscript with the subject “what it means to be in love.”

At first glance it seems an easy topic.

First thoughts raced through my mind: first love, lasting love, brotherly love, agape love, fraternal love, familial love, marital love and so on.

As I started to compose with meaningful dialogue, I realized two words distracted fingers from sailing across the keyboard. They were “in love”.

Love is easy. “In love” takes on a new persona.

I remember the movie “Love Story” with the famous line: “Love is never having to say you’re sorry.”

That’s just not right! Saying you’re sorry is a part of love. If one can’t push those two words out as eloquently as the two that puts us together until death do us part...I’m sorry, but the ‘I do’ will be flat lined here and there.

I’d venture to say the words “I do” are easier to say than “I’m sorry” in most marriages, no matter how long they last or don’t last.

Saying either of the sets of words is a big step. The first is a  commitment one to the other. The latter should be as easy flowing through the lips as the first.

Why then, is it so hard to say? Or admit.

Pride? Ego? Anger? Hurt? Betrayal? Stubborn? The latter is what husband claims as my problem. I concur. Meeting 50-50 is often 60-40 or 75-25 or 80-20. I wonder why I am on the smaller end.

Stubborn. Okay, stubborn!

After thinking of many I know, including husband and me, who’ve been together through good and bad; those who didn’t make it but can still remember they once loved so deeply; and those not yet ready for committal, but have stars in their eyes and love in their heart–I still struggle over “in love”.

I know my being in love means having to say I’m sorry. It may take awhile, but I know over the last 42 years if I hadn’t said them when needed, I’d have bleeding ulcers!

On Valentine’s Day verbally say to each other what’s needed and don’t hide behind hearts, chocolate and flowers. If an apology is in order, do so. If you love them, say so.

Words are powerful, especially when spoken from the heart.

An addendum---chocolate and flowers definitely add a nice touch!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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