Monday, December 13, 2010

Applying Makeup-------

A Dollar’s Worth
By Alisa Dollar

I was putting on my face (that’s what husband calls it) this morning after nearly a week of sporting my real face during Spring Break.

I looked in the mirror and groaned. I asked myself why I do this for work and not at home around husband and dog.

The answer is simple.

One, they love me unconditionally; even without my “face.”

Two, I didn’t want to scare the people at work.

As I put on my base (that is girl-speak for try to get even color tone but better than your real tone), I smeared on one side then the other, then across the chin and lastly, the forehead.

In other words, makeup splotched all over my face like a really bad Picasso.

I remember having one of those home makeup parties. Husband had to be smart mouth and ask what we had to make up, had we been having catfights. Men.

I’d had my first knee replacement so I hobbled around watching how everyone applied base.

Bree splats and rubs. Prof dot dot dots on each cheek and gently blends. Another put hers on both hands and used both hands to rub (not gently) on her face. I couldn’t help but wonder how she washed it all off her face.

Others were the basic plop and smear and hope it’s not streaked, like me.

The eyes were a much harder task. I found myself holding my mouth just right like each of them to get that line straight across the eyelid. There is an art to getting it straight. It’s the mouth. It has to be scrunched up over to the side mascara and eyeliner are being applied.

Don’t ask me why. It’s pretty much universal.

I don’t wear lipstick, so it was lots of fun watching others. The splats and rubs followed suit, as did the dot dot dots and the plop and smear. Even both hands applied with as much vigor as she did the rest of her face.

The universal lipstick trick is to make a taut “O” with your mouth. Why? Who knows, but it must work.

Blots are different. There’s the blot blot blot. The blot and quit. And my favorite, the blot and wipe.

As anyone can see, putting on a face is no easy task!

Men don’t appreciate what we women go through to look presentable to them.

Women know.

It’s universal.

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