Friday, September 16, 2011

I hate talking maps!

A Dollar’s Worth
By Alisa Dollar

Prof’s mom has become a good long distance friend. They live in Houston and when she gets to Lubbock we try to enjoy a cup of coffee or double dips of ice cream, whichever mood we’re in. Usually the latter.

At Christmas, she told me she never gets lost anymore. I couldn’t believe it because she’d always told me she got lost in Sears. That totally endeared me to her. I would get lost in Sears too if I didn’t get lost on my way to Sears.

“What do you mean you don’t get lost anymore?” I asked between bites of homemade chocolate pecan pie Prof’s dad made.

“I got a GPS.”

I groaned. I don’t like husband’s GPS. She has totally taken over our road trips. Maggie died and now he has Young Maggie. They’ve been the other “women” in my life. The saving grace is neither could speak.

I decided since Momma Prof had one, I should have one. I didn’t tell husband I ordered one and was hoping it wasn’t as boring as his.

As luck would have it, it was a smaller, handheld cute little thing with a car in the picture. I know this sounds perfectly ridiculous to those not geographically challenged, but that blue car on the road is amazing.

The unfortunate part is that it talks and has an annoying attitude. I showed husband my prize and we took it to Plainview to meet friends for an annual New Year’s Eve dinner. We are a really wild bunch.

Husband thought she was bossy and often wrong (only because he knows every back road in Texas and Bossy doesn’t). However, Bossy fooled him because she’d tell him the next exit and the next until he finally had to. It was really amusing to watch husband and Bossy try to outsmart the other.

I asked if I could change the car color to red and husband asked why. I like red that’s why, but I didn’t say anything. Then I asked if the voice could be like Johnny Depp instead of a haughty naggy voice. That he may have gone for, but so far it’s still Bossy’s voice.

As you’ve guessed, Bossy is now in residence with Young Maggie. He says he is seeing which is better but finds he like qualities in each that the other doesn’t have.

I’m just happy he can only have one wife or I’d probably be discontinued.

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